I'm a first-year student and recently transitioned

My roommate and I got along well last semester, but after I shared with him during winter break about my transition, he started calling me “delusional” and has been mean ever since. He insists I need psychiatric help, which is really upsetting. Also, the girls on my floor won’t let me use the women’s restroom, and when I brought this up to my RA, he dismissed me by saying “I’m not a woman.” I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. Are there any groups or safe places on campus for someone like me?

They offer accommodation for LGBTQ individuals.

Trying to change someone’s beliefs is futile and drains your energy.

In New York, you’re allowed to use the bathroom that matches your gender identity.

You should speak with someone from the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) office or the Dean of Students.

Also, get in touch with the folks in charge of housing.

What the Resident Assistant (RA) told you could be considered discrimination. Because they’re both an employee and a student, they could face consequences for this.

The law and the school’s rules support you. Title IX protects against discrimination based on sex and gender identity, so it’s not just a matter of new york state law

This situation isn’t right, and as someone older and part of the LGBTQ community here, I really feel this isn’t acceptable. I recommend talking to the housing office and also reaching out to the LGBTQ group on campus. They’re here to support you and will stand up for your rights. You have every right to feel safe and belong here. Stay strong. If you need someone to talk to, my messages are always open.

Definitely speak to a higher-up in housing, like the director or even your RA’s supervisor, if necessary. As someone who’s also trans, I totally get how tough this situation is, and I’m pretty sure UB should be able to arrange LGBTQ-friendly housing for you given what’s happened.

The way your RA handled things was not cool at all, coming off as really immature and even hostile, which could be seen as harassment. UB’s housing policies (including what your RA should follow) clearly state discrimination isn’t okay, and your RA has definitely not lived up to that. They’re in the wrong here, and it’s unfortunate you’re stuck with a difficult roommate in the meantime.

Also, the queer club at UB likely has other students who’ve been in similar situations and can point you to resources if you’re interested.

Wow, it’s surprising and great to connect with someone from UB who’s also trans-masculine. I’m planning to start my MSW part-time this fall too. I suggest reaching out to the housing director and the school about your experience. It sounds like you might have a strong Title IX case if they don’t offer you LGBTQ-friendly housing and address the behavior of those students. I’m totally prepared to look into what actions can be taken if you don’t receive the support you need. Hoping you stay safe.

That’s terrible, I’m really sorry to hear that, OP :cry:

I’m not aware of any specific trans safe spaces, unfortunately. Currently, I’m enrolled in an introductory course on sexuality studies, and it covers a lot about trans issues. There are many queer students in the class, making it a very supportive environment if you decide to join in the futrue.

I’m not sure if the option to switch rooms for this semester is still available. If it is, you might want to consider applying for LGBTQ housing as a solution. If the period for switching has already ended, I recommend visiting the Campus Living office directly in Wilkenson 2. It might be necessary to schedule a meeting beforehand, but discussing your situation in person could be really beneficial. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a better living arrangement soon. Best of luck!

If you’re searching for a welcoming LGBTQ space on campus, consider Hillel in the commons. It’s a friendly spot where everyone is welcome.

Here’s the link to the law that supports your right to use the facilities that match your gender identity, in case you need it. But honestly, I think it’s more important for you to find queer-friendly housing. Even if your RA and peers are legally required to respect your choices, it doesn’t mean you’ll feel safe or mentally at ease. If you’re having trouble contacting the team responsible for gender-neutral housing at UB, it’s crucial to let someone know that you’re facing discrimination because of your trans identity and that finding a solution should be a top priority.